Thursday, February 18, 2010
Moms as family squabble refs... NOT!
One of the issues that parents of older children have to deal with is that their children are a "finished project". This can be problematic if others think that you still should be able to influence -- and indeed, should want to influence, your adult child. Take our family. We have a lot of sons. And three great daughters in law. But it can be tricky territory when your adult child's spouse figures that they need to tell us all the shortcomings of said adult child. Not only do I not want to know what's going on in their personal relationship (for the short term), unless there is some thing I can do-- comfort, help in some concrete way, etc. But intervening between partners in a marriage is not only uncomfortable, it's down right dangerous for your relationship with either your child or your son or daughter in law. I am becoming adept at saying "I think that this is not any of my business", and, "You really need to work this out with your husband.". But it's sure not any fun.
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1 comment:
Dear, dear Peggy
On reading your blog I have come to think that I am not dealing deeply enough with life issues, eg I have never thought about pee on the toilet seat for the handicapped but you’re right it would be very, very unpleasant.
And you’re right too about our grown up children they are entities in their own right. Before now when one has asked for my advice I have had to reply that I have enough problems deciding things for myself let alone anyone else.Although if I had a problem I would ask my eldet son as he has his head screwed on straight and it is so sensible, I have doubted he is mine, except I was there when he came into the world! It was on a Monday with the Mamas and the Papas singing ‘Monday Monday!!’ It was a hospital with piped music!! LOL
So do go on venting Peggy it is making the rest of us think!
Love and Blessings
Chris XXX
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